Help for Troubled Young Adults - Building Relationships Through Wilderness Therapy

By Meghan Vivo

Most adults report the most important thing in life is their relationships with family, friends, and loved ones. Most adolescents and young adults, on the other hand, believe the most important thing in life is having fun. But whether they realize it now or not, establishing trusting, meaningful relationships with other people can be essential for long-term happiness and success. 

For troubled youth who are acting out at home or in school, defying authority figures, and experimenting with drugs or alcohol, strong relationships can be essential in getting back on track. That’s the premise of wilderness therapy programs like Passages To Recovery, a wilderness-based addiction and substance abuse treatment program for young men ages 18 to 30. As one essential component of its therapeutic approach, Passages To Recovery provides young people with opportunities to build positive relationships with staff, peers, animals, and nature. 

Do As I Do: Learning to Respect Authority 

As any parent or loved one can attest, young men in early recovery can be difficult to reach. On one hand, they are adults with a certain amount of freedom to come and go as they please, but on the other hand, they have a problem with drugs or alcohol that needs to be recognized and addressed. They are often resistant to treatment and are working through bouts of denial and defiance. Because many wilderness instructors were once in their shoes, they have a unique understanding and respect for young people in this stage of life. 

According to Ray Barlow, Field Director at Passages To Recovery, about 80 percent of the field staff at Passages To Recovery are in recovery themselves or have significant experience with substance abuse treatment or recovery. In addition, each wilderness instructor goes through a rigorous screening process and intensive, ongoing training, learning about personality disorders, group dynamics, addiction, the 12-step model, relapse prevention, defiance, primitive skills such as using a map and compass, and much more. Many have specialized degrees and training, and all provide excellent role models to struggling youth. 

Mark McKillip, a field guide at Passages To Recovery, is a husband and father who has personal experience in recovery. He believes the most important part of his job is building a relationship with the young men who look to him as a role model. 

“I may be the first person these young men have met who has stayed clean and sober over time,” says McKillip. “If they see something in me that pushes them away, it’ll take them that much longer to believe in it. If they see something in me that they think they might want, it can be a catalyst for change. There’s something about field staff they’re drawn to, and it’s not because we lead them around and tell them what to do. I’d rather talk to them, just one human trying to help another human, about what they want out of life and show them how to get it.” 

Despite the sacrifices field instructors make to be in the field working with young people, including being away from the comforts of home, their spouses, children, and loved ones, they are committed to helping people and changing lives. The wilderness instructors at Passages To Recovery work in wilderness therapy because they believe in it and want to give back. “All of the field staff here, bar none, are some of the most caring and loving people I’ve ever met,” says McKillip. “You don’t meet people like this everywhere. Their hearts are in such a good spot.” 

Dan Hastings was a student at a wilderness program four years ago, and came to Passages To Recovery as a field instructor to give back to others after achieving three years of sobriety. “I get paid to be in the wilderness working through the 12 steps with others. Although it’s a tough lifestyle, and you have to put your entire life on hold while you’re in the field, things are simpler out here in a lot of ways.” 

After a few days in the field together, students realize wilderness instructors are people, too. They have ups and downs; they sleep on the ground, set up tents, and hike with the students 24 hours a day – all the while role modeling healthy communication and coping strategies and sending the message that they care enough about each student to be facing the challenges right alongside them. 

Lean on Me: The Peer Relationship 

In addition to forging bonds with wilderness instructors and other staff, the students at Passages To Recovery also build important relationships with their fellow students. Because the program caters exclusively to young men, there are fewer distractions, less need to show off or compete for girls’ attention, and more freedom to open up and bond. 

“There is a lot of power in men being able to cry and share their feelings with each other,” says field instructor Amber Margolis. “Our students not only get feedback and support from the field staff but also from their peers. I don’t want to call students out on their bad behaviors. I will, but I’d rather it come from the group because when they hear it from their peers, it’s not coming from a mom or dad figure. Instead, they’re holding each other accountable.” 

The young men at Passages To Recovery find that getting to know their peers is a highlight of the wilderness experience. They depend on each other for support and insight, and can be integral in one another’s decision to remain in the program and commit to the process of change. 

“The thing I like about working with all-male groups is that we can get real,” says Hastings. “Guys are always trying to be tough by posturing around women, fighting, doing drugs, or whatever. Out here, part of recovery for young men is figuring out what it really means to be a man.” 

Living in the wilderness 24 hours a day helps young people form a deep personal bond with nature. For young adults, connecting with the world around them can bring about a sense of belonging and an appreciation for life. At Passages To Recovery, this relationship with living things is further enhanced by the work students do with llamas. Each group of students is assigned a llama in the field, which they must feed, guide, and care for on a daily basis. 

Llamas are strong, sure-footed animals that carry camp supplies and packs, but working with llamas is also immensely therapeutic. Working with the animals gives the young men a respect for living creatures and also helps them bring out and process their emotions. 

“Llamas are really good at reflecting how people treat them,” says Laurie Winkler, a counselor at Passages To Recovery. “If a student is angry at the llama, it won’t cooperate; if the student treats the llama with respect, it will work with the student to get the task done.” 

Studies have repeatedly shown that the best guarantee for a long and happy life is the connections we have with other people. Young people struggling with substance abuse and other emotional and behavioral issues often have isolated themselves from the people they care about and have alienated the most important relationships in their lives. 

In addition to helping participants realize that they have a substance abuse problem that requires continued support, wilderness therapy programs like Passages To Recovery can help young people mend wounded bonds and re-establish loving ties with their parents and family members. By learning to communicate effectively, respect authority, and connect with others in healthy ways, young people begin to value others and know their value in return.